Here's a random note I found on my facebook dated November 9th, 2007:
What started as a Health 101 assignment at Spokane Falls Community College, soon became a work of art.
LIVING WILL
My name is Randy Harward and this is a Living Will concerning affairs that should be dealt with in the case of my sudden and tragic death. I would like to make a specific gift of cash to my brother, Jared Harward of $500 to cover my funeral costs. If Jared is unavailable then I would have my youngest brother Scott Harward be in charge of the arrangements. All of the remainder of my estate will go to my children as the primary heirs either in equal shares or in trust. My primary executor of this will should be my brother Jared Harward, if he is not available then I would like my friend Brett Ehlert be in charge. If I should have any minor children at the time of my death, my wish is for them to be in custody of my sister Katelyn Harward. If Katelyn is not available then I would have my friend Brett Ehlert assume custody. Concerning the disposition of my remains, I would like to be buried in the wheat fields of northern Idaho. I have not made arrangements with any funeral home or cemetery. My wishes for my funeral are as follows: the event will begin by my brother Jared lighting fifty bottle rockets simultaneously in different directions. My mother/sister will then read a short eulogy concerning my contributions to society and my domination at Halo 2. A musical item will then be given by a Creedance Clearwater Revival Tribute band. I would prefer them to play “Run through the Jungle” but “Bad Moon Rising” will also suffice. At the concluding note of the song, I would like a fifty-gun salute followed by a six-plane fly-by courtesy of the U.S. Air Force. My coffin will then be elevated by a crane, set on fire, then dumped into a fourteen-foot hole. The fourteen feet are essential in case my corpse becomes a possessed zombie. The funeral will close by everyone taking turns shoveling rose petals into the hole, with a layer of fresh top-soil for the surface. The after-party will be held at Shari’s on Sullivan.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Plasma - the end of an era
OCTOBER 2008: Randy Harward finds an easy way to score cash. Donating, plasma.
Actually, donating is kind of generous term. You see, in order for it to be a donation you give of yourself freely, like donating blood, or donating your body to science after you die. With plasma, you go twice a week and you're fifty bucks richer.
It's hard to believe I actually did this for a year and a half. But I did. And with the idea that I actually did it twice a week religiously for that long, theoretically I made about $3600 off my bodily fluids.
Not a bad way to make half the value of my car.
But, you must understand this is not an enjoyable experience. After a primary mini-physical, you walk into the center, put your name on a roll, then sit about twenty minutes to a half-hour in a packed lobby. In Spokane, it was really bad because it was filled with homeless people and bums unwiling to get jobs. When your name is called you're led into a small room and are asked a lengthy list of pretty awkward questions: "Have you in the last six months, been incarcerated for more than 48 hours?" "Have you received a smallpox vaccine or been within a smallpox vaccine site of anyone else in the past three months?" After the interrogation, you walk into a large room, which is kept very cold (something about keeping the plasma at certain termperature), you sit down, are stuck with the biggest needle you've ever seen, and sit there for an hour to an hour and a half while blood is sucked out of you, rid of its plasma and then put back into you. The things about the blood returning process is after running through the machine and the seperation, it comes back in extremely cold, so you start to shiver if you don't have a heavy coat or blanket. (My friend Brett, after his first donation, walked out of the room shivering so bad he couldn't put the code into an ATM to get his cash!) Afterwards you walk up to a window, and they hand you 20$ cash (then 30 the second time in the week).
It's easy.
It's a quick way to earn some cash.
It's probably not the healthiest thing to do your system.
And I did for a year and a half.
As luck would have it, I go to donate (err... sell) my plasma this last week, and they tell me after a thorough test, that they've found too many antibodies in my plasma and it's now completely unusuable. And since Ellie and I live together, she would no longer be able to sell plasma either. Ever.
This came at a hard time for Elle and I. We'd been waiting for our financial aid to come through for about a month, and with our busy school schedule we haven't been putting in many hours at our jobs. With the end of the month would come a stack of bills that, realistically, we had no income to pay for. Selling plasma was bringing us $400 a month, enough to cover the rent of our apartment. How on earth were we going to make up for that in our hectic school schedule?
We came home, we got our knees, and said a prayer through tears. We'd felt like we had been doing everything the Lord asked of us, paying tithing, going to church, honoring our callings, working hard in school. Why was this happening now? When our financial situation was dire as it is? No answer came that night. We went to bed feeling lost and hopeless. Depressing thoughts like moving into Ellie's parents place crept into my mind, along with getting night jobs that would take away our time for homework and each other.
The very next day, Ellie opens her school email and finds a message from the Financial Aid Department. It finally came. We had heard horror stories of couples that had been late in getting their FAFSA in, and having to wait until the next semester to receive it. Had that been the case, we probably would have taken out a loan just to get by! God works in mysterious ways: He somehow got us to stop selling our bodily fluids for money, gave us a taste of what financial struggle is like, AND provided for our needs, ALL without affecting the agency of one single person on this earth. How does He do it?!
LESSONS LEARNED:
#1 God doesn't want you selling the plumbing in the temple you call a body. We worked so hard for them in the pre-existence! It's not worth it!
#2 Don't get into debt. Yeah we hear this one all the time. But any addiction is against the Word of Wisdom, to be high in debt is to be low in agency.
#3 Do what's right, God's got your back.
Actually, donating is kind of generous term. You see, in order for it to be a donation you give of yourself freely, like donating blood, or donating your body to science after you die. With plasma, you go twice a week and you're fifty bucks richer.
It's hard to believe I actually did this for a year and a half. But I did. And with the idea that I actually did it twice a week religiously for that long, theoretically I made about $3600 off my bodily fluids.
Not a bad way to make half the value of my car.
But, you must understand this is not an enjoyable experience. After a primary mini-physical, you walk into the center, put your name on a roll, then sit about twenty minutes to a half-hour in a packed lobby. In Spokane, it was really bad because it was filled with homeless people and bums unwiling to get jobs. When your name is called you're led into a small room and are asked a lengthy list of pretty awkward questions: "Have you in the last six months, been incarcerated for more than 48 hours?" "Have you received a smallpox vaccine or been within a smallpox vaccine site of anyone else in the past three months?" After the interrogation, you walk into a large room, which is kept very cold (something about keeping the plasma at certain termperature), you sit down, are stuck with the biggest needle you've ever seen, and sit there for an hour to an hour and a half while blood is sucked out of you, rid of its plasma and then put back into you. The things about the blood returning process is after running through the machine and the seperation, it comes back in extremely cold, so you start to shiver if you don't have a heavy coat or blanket. (My friend Brett, after his first donation, walked out of the room shivering so bad he couldn't put the code into an ATM to get his cash!) Afterwards you walk up to a window, and they hand you 20$ cash (then 30 the second time in the week).
It's easy.
It's a quick way to earn some cash.
It's probably not the healthiest thing to do your system.
And I did for a year and a half.
As luck would have it, I go to donate (err... sell) my plasma this last week, and they tell me after a thorough test, that they've found too many antibodies in my plasma and it's now completely unusuable. And since Ellie and I live together, she would no longer be able to sell plasma either. Ever.
This came at a hard time for Elle and I. We'd been waiting for our financial aid to come through for about a month, and with our busy school schedule we haven't been putting in many hours at our jobs. With the end of the month would come a stack of bills that, realistically, we had no income to pay for. Selling plasma was bringing us $400 a month, enough to cover the rent of our apartment. How on earth were we going to make up for that in our hectic school schedule?
We came home, we got our knees, and said a prayer through tears. We'd felt like we had been doing everything the Lord asked of us, paying tithing, going to church, honoring our callings, working hard in school. Why was this happening now? When our financial situation was dire as it is? No answer came that night. We went to bed feeling lost and hopeless. Depressing thoughts like moving into Ellie's parents place crept into my mind, along with getting night jobs that would take away our time for homework and each other.
The very next day, Ellie opens her school email and finds a message from the Financial Aid Department. It finally came. We had heard horror stories of couples that had been late in getting their FAFSA in, and having to wait until the next semester to receive it. Had that been the case, we probably would have taken out a loan just to get by! God works in mysterious ways: He somehow got us to stop selling our bodily fluids for money, gave us a taste of what financial struggle is like, AND provided for our needs, ALL without affecting the agency of one single person on this earth. How does He do it?!
LESSONS LEARNED:
#1 God doesn't want you selling the plumbing in the temple you call a body. We worked so hard for them in the pre-existence! It's not worth it!
#2 Don't get into debt. Yeah we hear this one all the time. But any addiction is against the Word of Wisdom, to be high in debt is to be low in agency.
#3 Do what's right, God's got your back.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
thankful
Thanks April for posting this last week!
I'm afriad the ongoing gifts from the wedding eventually made me a fairly unappreciative person. Towards the end we were getting cards from friends and the object that got the most appreciation was which president's face was on the dollar bill! This morning I'm thankful for a lot of things. Three months ago I felt completely unprepared to meet the financial demands and responsibilities of marriage. I'm the kind of person who likes to enjoy the peace of mind that comes from preparation, an unknowning blind step in front of the other has never been my forte. I can remember nights praying for the spiritual sensitivity and patience necessary for a husband and family Patriarch, and days drawing up Ellie's and I's bills and wondering how we were ever going to manage it. More specifically I remember stressing over finding a roof to put over our heads. Miraculously, (and I mean this in a very literal way) we were able to secure an apartment in a complex that was our first choice before turned down because it was full. I wish you could see this place, it's about the size of my parents' living room and kitchen! But it's sufficient for our needs and 400 bucks a month is a killer deal for two in a small college town!
I'm thankful for God's ability to bring about good in those who put their faith in Him. I'm really thankful that He does so even when the individual's faith is lacking! I'm grateful to have found a girl that I love so much and that we were able to be sealed by God's authority for time and all eternity. I'm grateful for my parents and siblings whom I've leanred so much from and have made some fantastic memories. I'm thankful for the roof over my head and food in my cupboards and clothes in my drawers. I'm VERY thankful for the wafflemaker the Grimmet family gave us for our wedding, nothing could be better than listening to music in the kitchen while making a stack of waffles! I'm grateful for the knowledge I have of God and His Plan for us, for the plain precious truths that bring bliss in the good times and strength in the hard times. I'm grateful for the opportunities my Father's given me and the lessons taught from them.
Happy Thanksgiving planet earth!
married life
Events that have transpired in the last month:
1. Deal with last-minute complications of an impending wedding.
2. Finish up paying for a honeymoon.
3. Get married to my best friend for time and all eternity.
4. Tip over and break a lamp trying to cut a wedding cake.
5. Take a cruise to Catalina Island, CA and Ensenada, Mexico.
6. Gaze out at the Pacific Ocean on deck in a jacuzzi next to my wife.
7. Ride a tandem bike all around a small island town.
8. Buy a cheap Nacho Libre mask.
9. Barter a Mexican from an 85$ purse to a 31$ purse.
10. Use a waffle maker 4 times in 5 days.
1. Deal with last-minute complications of an impending wedding.
2. Finish up paying for a honeymoon.
3. Get married to my best friend for time and all eternity.
4. Tip over and break a lamp trying to cut a wedding cake.
5. Take a cruise to Catalina Island, CA and Ensenada, Mexico.
6. Gaze out at the Pacific Ocean on deck in a jacuzzi next to my wife.
7. Ride a tandem bike all around a small island town.
8. Buy a cheap Nacho Libre mask.
9. Barter a Mexican from an 85$ purse to a 31$ purse.
10. Use a waffle maker 4 times in 5 days.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
jack's new cd
For all of you who don't know (but most definitely should know), Jack Johnson is releasing a new cd in twelve days! To say that "I'm stoked", would be a total and complete understatement.
This video makes me smile. You can just feel the love.
This video makes me smile. You can just feel the love.
never a dull moment
I haven't written in a long time. Working three jobs might have something to do with that. Well, three jobs, four sources of income. You see, I fall into that desperate clan of starving college students that sell plasma for cash. It's not bad, I've had a lot better luck with it than my poor fiance. She once had an experience selling plasma involving the needle pricking a nerve and sending incredible tingling pain down her arm, then while attempting to use the other arm the blood returned outside the vein and visibly bubbled up her skin. And after all this, she's agreed to come with me every time I go, so she can bring in that extra $200 a month that we desperately, desperately need.
I hope my best guy friends end up with a girl like Ellie!
Like I was saying, three jobs, four sources of income. Working at Ray's Chevron, a developmental facility for the handicapped center, teaching piano and guitar, and selling plasma. I don't count plasma because well, you don't really do anything. My good friend Russell Gordon, who sells plasma and works as a male model on campus, takes pride in the fact that neither of his jobs require any skills. He just kind of shows up and... is. Ellie and I both laughed really hard when he told us this.
He told us this on a road trip the three of us took to Spokane on a three day weekend last month. Ellie's old college friends from NIC wanted to throw her a bridal shower so we took a special trip, it'd seemed like ages since I saw my family. We had a blast! We went and saw my graceful sister dance at Valleyfest, Ellie had her bridal shower, I laughed harder than I have in a long time helping my brother move (they always wait until you come to visit don't they?), spent time with my hilarious nephew age 1, and saw my friend one last time before he leaves on his Church Mission to the West Indies.
The trip seemed eerily serene and without incident. The adventures of Ellie and Randy are never that way (example: our first date, another story for another day). We were making our way back to Rexburg at 1 a.m. when Murphy's Law payed us a visit. First the CD Player stopped working, then all the needles on the dash dropped to zero, then the lights started fading, and finally the engine died and we slowed to the shoulder of the highway. A highway in the middle of Nowhere, Montana. I knew that it was either the battery or the alternator, and five seconds after we slowed to a stop Ellie, Russell and I were all on our phones to our dads. They confirmed that it was probably the alternator and that we should get it towed to the next town, Dillon, fifteen miles away.
Me being nervous about being hit by oncoming traffic, I recruited Russell into pushing the car to the next exit. Summer had been holding on rather late in both Rexburg and Spokane, so none of us had packed very much in the way of warm clothing. So in sweatshirts and jeans, we pushed and pushed and pushed with Ellie steering and cheering us out of an open window. It was a freezing night and soon my heavy breathing my made my lungs feel like they were filled with battery acid. But push we did. In my head all I could hear was that classic Primary song "Pioneer children sang as they walked, and walked, and walked, and walked... and walked and walked and walked." Despite everything, all of us kept our happy moods and laughed at the image of two guys bent behind a Ford Focus, pushing it down a highway under a silent Montana sky at night with a girl yelling "C'mon boys, you can do it!"
Finally reaching an exit, parked the car at the end of the off-ramp and I called my dad again. He had one number for a towing service in Dillon but warned that my insurance would only cover the cost if it was done during normal business hours! Suddenly I wished I was with AllState, they always say "you're in good hands"!!! Unwilling to cough up the cost, the three of us collectively agreed to spend the night in the car. And I welcomed the idea of snuggling next to my fiance through the night, however cramped we might be.
Cramped we were.
And snuggle we did not.
We almost froze to death. Not paying heed to my practical Boy Scout training, I was anything but prepared. I had no blankets. We opened out suitcases and threw random clothing on top of us in an attempt to block out the cold. Out of the three of us, I got the most sleep, probably three hours, Ellie slept maybe an hour and Russell pulled an all-nighter. We were miserable. But morning came, and eventually we saw the first rays of sun hit our windows with frost collecting on the inside from the cold and humidity. We opened the doors to a crisp, beautiful, cloudless morning, but there's no way anyone can appreciate these things without any sleep the night before!
I called the tow truck and a very nice man came and saved us from our freezing state. When we got into town he let us take his truck, we drove as fast as we dared to McDonald's and had a breakfast that tasted better than any meal I have ever tasted!
What did I learn from this? You can endure anything if you're surrounded by good friends. When I dropped Russell off at his house, I said "We'll be laughing about it soon. I mean, not right now... give it a week." I'm so lucky to be engaged to my best friend and have someone to laugh with through all the hard times and struggles that will most-assuredly come!
I hope my best guy friends end up with a girl like Ellie!
Like I was saying, three jobs, four sources of income. Working at Ray's Chevron, a developmental facility for the handicapped center, teaching piano and guitar, and selling plasma. I don't count plasma because well, you don't really do anything. My good friend Russell Gordon, who sells plasma and works as a male model on campus, takes pride in the fact that neither of his jobs require any skills. He just kind of shows up and... is. Ellie and I both laughed really hard when he told us this.
He told us this on a road trip the three of us took to Spokane on a three day weekend last month. Ellie's old college friends from NIC wanted to throw her a bridal shower so we took a special trip, it'd seemed like ages since I saw my family. We had a blast! We went and saw my graceful sister dance at Valleyfest, Ellie had her bridal shower, I laughed harder than I have in a long time helping my brother move (they always wait until you come to visit don't they?), spent time with my hilarious nephew age 1, and saw my friend one last time before he leaves on his Church Mission to the West Indies.
The trip seemed eerily serene and without incident. The adventures of Ellie and Randy are never that way (example: our first date, another story for another day). We were making our way back to Rexburg at 1 a.m. when Murphy's Law payed us a visit. First the CD Player stopped working, then all the needles on the dash dropped to zero, then the lights started fading, and finally the engine died and we slowed to the shoulder of the highway. A highway in the middle of Nowhere, Montana. I knew that it was either the battery or the alternator, and five seconds after we slowed to a stop Ellie, Russell and I were all on our phones to our dads. They confirmed that it was probably the alternator and that we should get it towed to the next town, Dillon, fifteen miles away.
Me being nervous about being hit by oncoming traffic, I recruited Russell into pushing the car to the next exit. Summer had been holding on rather late in both Rexburg and Spokane, so none of us had packed very much in the way of warm clothing. So in sweatshirts and jeans, we pushed and pushed and pushed with Ellie steering and cheering us out of an open window. It was a freezing night and soon my heavy breathing my made my lungs feel like they were filled with battery acid. But push we did. In my head all I could hear was that classic Primary song "Pioneer children sang as they walked, and walked, and walked, and walked... and walked and walked and walked." Despite everything, all of us kept our happy moods and laughed at the image of two guys bent behind a Ford Focus, pushing it down a highway under a silent Montana sky at night with a girl yelling "C'mon boys, you can do it!"
Finally reaching an exit, parked the car at the end of the off-ramp and I called my dad again. He had one number for a towing service in Dillon but warned that my insurance would only cover the cost if it was done during normal business hours! Suddenly I wished I was with AllState, they always say "you're in good hands"!!! Unwilling to cough up the cost, the three of us collectively agreed to spend the night in the car. And I welcomed the idea of snuggling next to my fiance through the night, however cramped we might be.
Cramped we were.
And snuggle we did not.
We almost froze to death. Not paying heed to my practical Boy Scout training, I was anything but prepared. I had no blankets. We opened out suitcases and threw random clothing on top of us in an attempt to block out the cold. Out of the three of us, I got the most sleep, probably three hours, Ellie slept maybe an hour and Russell pulled an all-nighter. We were miserable. But morning came, and eventually we saw the first rays of sun hit our windows with frost collecting on the inside from the cold and humidity. We opened the doors to a crisp, beautiful, cloudless morning, but there's no way anyone can appreciate these things without any sleep the night before!
I called the tow truck and a very nice man came and saved us from our freezing state. When we got into town he let us take his truck, we drove as fast as we dared to McDonald's and had a breakfast that tasted better than any meal I have ever tasted!What did I learn from this? You can endure anything if you're surrounded by good friends. When I dropped Russell off at his house, I said "We'll be laughing about it soon. I mean, not right now... give it a week." I'm so lucky to be engaged to my best friend and have someone to laugh with through all the hard times and struggles that will most-assuredly come!
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